The Oscars are like prom night for Hollywood -- an excuse to dress up, rent a limo, and party. Late.

In a triangle bound by West Hollywood streets and dubbed "Oscar Alley," Academy Awards fever rages long after the awards show ends, at parties hosted by Vanity Fair, Elton John and Esquire magazine.

The Vanity Fair party each year is the biggest of the bunch, held at Morton's restaurant on Melrose Avenue. The legions of paparazzi stationed at its entrance resemble a flashing, screaming army.

But there are others. The Elton John AIDS Foundation party at the Pacific Design Center on Melrose attracts the rocker set (and celebrities who either didn't go to the Vanity Fair bash or who are making the rounds). And the Esquire party at the Abbey Food & Bar on Robertson Boulevard, in its third year and consequently considered the new kid on the block, gives people who aren't necessarily on the A-list a chance to revel in Oscar glory.

With all three parties within steps of each other, party-hopping is par for the course, making the three-block stretch a veritable block party for stars and the people who seek them.

At the Esquire party

Started: 4 p.m., including a viewing of Sunday's 5 p.m. Oscar telecast. Ended: Around 2 a.m.

Watching the Academy Awards in a room full of Oscar fans is like watching a football game in a room full of jocks. When a favorite movie wins, there's an explosion of screaming cheers. When a good one doesn't make it, there's a droning, "Awww." And when the commercials come on, everybody stands up to get a drink.

The Esquire party was hosted by Jennifer Love Hewitt, though it was hard to tell the former "Party of Five" star was there at all. The petite brunette spent the entire party barricaded inside a VIP section that allowed her and a selection of others -- such as singer Taylor Dayne, Olympic skater Sasha Cohen and Olympic snowboarder Shaun White (aka "The Flying Tomato") -- to avoid mingling with the rest of the guests.

Hewitt's room was set apart by a raised floor, a railing, and a few guards standing watch. What I've noticed about VIP rooms is that all they do is make people want in. Block a room off with duct tape and a bouncer and everybody on the outside thinks it's the place to be.

"I'll get in there," said my companion for the evening, actor Brian Deas, a Hermosa Beach resident who had a small role in the Oscar-nominated "Walk the Line." "I'll just tell them I'm in the movie."

Amazingly, that worked. Deas coaxed the guard, stepped into the special room and got his first snapshot of the night, with The Flying Tomato. The 19-year-old Olympic medalist (who is on the cover of Rolling Stone this month) said he'd seen the Johnny Cash biopic three times.

Elton John AIDS Foundation

Started: 9:30 p.m. Ended: Long past 2 a.m.

For the record, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie use Port-o-Potties. Pamela Anderson, Donatella Versace and Ozzy Osbourne, too.

At the Elton John Oscar after-party Sunday night, there were some things even celebrities couldn't escape. And the cluster of plush portable bathrooms set up inside the temporary structure was one of them.

The party was held in a heated, carpeted tent outside the Pacific Design Center, down the street from the Vanity Fair gala, Oscar night's most coveted invite, and around the corner from the Esquire party.

While the Vanity Fair party is the biggest of the bashes (I couldn't get an invite to go), Elton John's party, featuring live performances from the Rocket Man himself, as well as Grammy-award winner John Legend, is second on the list of big-name parties.

The guest list included Oscar nominees Matt Dillon, Terrence Howard, Heath Ledger, Kiera Knightley, Reese Witherspoon, Joaquin Phoenix and Dolly Parton, along with Ashlee Simpson, Patrick Dempsey, Macy Gray, Willem Dafoe, Phil Collins, Jewel and Beck.

Where they all were though, beats me.

"Have you seen anyone yet?" asked a tall Norwegian fashion designer, about two sentences into a conversation that marked my first of the evening.

By anyone, of course, he meant celebrities.

"Not yet," I said. "Have you?"

"I just saw Ozzy Osbourne," he said, bouncing a little as he spoke, to emphasize his news. "I said, 'Hi.'"

That's it: He said hi.

Welcome to Oscar party protocol. The rules are simple: Basically, everyone who's not a celebrity is on the lookout for everyone who is. It's like a scavenger hunt, the end result being either a long, scrupulous stare at the star in question or an awkward introduction that may or may not culminate in a photo.

I wasn't allowed to bring a camera into the Elton John affair, so pictures were out. But I did my introductions, including an "I love your show" to Kelly Carlson, the blond star of "Nip/Tuck" (my favorite TV series) and a rambling conversation with "In Justice" star Kyle MacLachlan during which I admitted how, as a kid, I did skits of his former TV show, "Twin Peaks," in my basement.

He nodded, smiled and said, "That's great," with a genuine enough congeniality that I'm still a fan.

Then there was Christopher Boyes, Oscar winner for best sound editing for "King Kong," who brought his statuette to the party.

"What was your name again?" I asked him after he let me hold the Oscar for a moment while standing near the martini bar. "I know you just won an Oscar and I should know your name, but ..."

"It's OK," he said, proud enough of his accomplishments that he didn't seem to mind the ignorance. "Nobody knows the sound editors."

Boyce told me it was his fourth Oscar. He also won for "Titanic," "Pearl Harbor" and "Lord of the Rings."

I gave him his Oscar back and he drifted off into the crowd, holding the award with both hands as all the passersby stopped to stare. Not bad for a guy nobody knows.